Prelude to Heartbreak II Sam 18:33

Prelude to Heartbreak
II Sam 18:33

II Sam 18:33 The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to his room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I could have died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son."

Introduction:

This passage reflects and echoes the trauma that a father feels at the loss of a child. No parent should ever have to bury his or her child. But, what can make the loss worse is the relationship between the child and father, which precedes the death.

Besides the constant question of the reason for the death, is the haunting memory of what could have been. Death can never be cheated. It is inevitable. But real remorse is produced by the failure of a father to properly raise a child in the fear and admonition of his heavenly Father.

I.Marriage is not only about the relationship between a man and a woman. The relationship of that man with his children is as just as important.

NLT 1 Chronicles 3:1 These were the sons who were born to David in Hebron: The oldest was Amnon, whose mother was Ahinoam of Jezreel. The second was Kileab, whose mother was Abigail from Carmel.
2 The third was Absalom, whose mother was Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur. The fourth was Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith.
3 The fifth was Shephatiah, whose mother was Abital. The sixth was Ithream, whose mother was Eglah.
4 These six sons were born to David in Hebron, where he reigned seven and a half years. Then David moved the capital to Jerusalem, where he reigned another thirty-three years.
5 The sons born to David in Jerusalem included Shimea, Shobab, Nathan, and Solomon. Bathsheba, the daughter of Ammiel, was the mother of these sons.
6 David also had nine other sons: Ibhar, Elishua, Elpelet,
7 Nogah, Nepheg, Japhia,
8 Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet.
9 These were the sons of David, not including the sons of his concubines. David also had a daughter named Tamar.

NLT 1 Kings 1:1 Now King David was very old, and no matter how many blankets covered him, he could not keep warm.
2 So his advisers told him, "We will find a young virgin who will wait on you and be your nurse. She will lie in your arms and keep you warm."
3 So they searched throughout the country for a beautiful girl, and they found Abishag from Shunem and brought her to the king.
4 The girl was very beautiful, and she waited on the king and took care of him. But the king had no sexual relations with her.
5 About that time David's son Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, decided to make himself king in place of his aged father. So he provided himself with chariots and horses and recruited fifty men to run in front of him.
6 Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, "What are you doing?" Adonijah was a very handsome man and had been born next after Absalom.

II. The lack of instruction by a father is seen in the everyday life of his children.

NLT 2 Samuel 13:1 David's son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her.
2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible that he could ever fulfill his love for her.
3 Now Amnon had a very crafty friend-- his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David's brother Shimea.
4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, "What's the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?"So Amnon told him, "I am in love with Tamar, Absalom's sister."
5 "Well," Jonadab said, "I'll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are sick. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you'll feel better if she feeds you."
6 So Amnon pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, "Please let Tamar come to take care of me and cook something for me to eat."
7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon's house to prepare some food for him.
8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon's house, she went to the room where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked some special bread for him.
9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. "Everyone get out of here," Amnon told his servants. So they all left.
10 Then he said to Tamar, "Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here." So Tamar took it to him.
11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, "Come to bed with me, my darling sister."
12 "No, my brother!" she cried. "Don't be foolish! Don't do this to me! You know what a serious crime it is to do such a thing in Israel.
13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me."
14 But Amnon wouldn't listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her.
15 Then suddenly Amnon's love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. "Get out of here!" he snarled at her.
16 "No, no!" Tamar cried. "To reject me now is a greater wrong than what you have already done to me."But Amnon wouldn't listen to her.
17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, "Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!"

II Sam 13:20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, "Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, don't be so upset. Since he's your brother anyway, don't worry about it." So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in Absalom's house.
21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry.
22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about it, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.
23 Two years later, when Absalom's sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king's sons to come to a feast.
24 He went to the king and said, "My sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?"
25 The king replied, "No, my son. If we all came, we would be too much of a burden on you." Absalom pressed him, but the king wouldn't come, though he sent his thanks.
26 "Well, then," Absalom said, "if you can't come, how about sending my brother Amnon instead?""Why Amnon?" the king asked.
27 But Absalom kept on pressing the king until he finally agreed to let all his sons attend, including Amnon.
28 Absalom told his men, "Wait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don't be afraid. I'm the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!"
29 So at Absalom's signal they murdered Amnon. Then the other sons of the king jumped on their mules and fled.

II Sam 14:28 Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years without getting to see the king.
29 Then Absalom sent for Joab to ask him to intercede for him, but Joab refused to come. Absalom sent for him a second time, but again Joab refused to come.
30 So Absalom said to his servants, "Go and set fire to Joab's barley field, the field next to mine." So they set his field on fire, as Absalom had commanded.
31 Then Joab came to Absalom and demanded, "Why did your servants set my field on fire?"
32 And Absalom replied, "Because I wanted you to ask the king why he brought me back from Geshur if he didn't intend to see me. I might as well have stayed there. Let me see the king; if he finds me guilty of anything, then let him execute me."
33 So Joab told the king what Absalom had said. Then at last David summoned his estranged son, and Absalom came and bowed low before the king, and David kissed him.

III. There comes a time when a father’s failures produce disaster to the point of destruction

II Sam 15:10 But while he was there, he sent secret messengers to every part of Israel to stir up a rebellion against the king. "As soon as you hear the trumpets," his message read, "you will know that Absalom has been crowned king in Hebron."
11 He took two hundred men from Jerusalem with him as guests, but they knew nothing of his intentions.
12 While he was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel, one of David's counselors who lived in Giloh. Soon many others also joined Absalom, and the conspiracy gained momentum.
13 A messenger soon arrived in Jerusalem to tell King David, "All Israel has joined Absalom in a conspiracy against you!"
14 "Then we must flee at once, or it will be too late!" David urged his men. "Hurry! If we get out of the city before he arrives, both we and the city of Jerusalem will be spared from disaster."
15 "We are with you," his advisers replied. "Do what you think is best."
16 So the king and his household set out at once. He left no one behind except ten of his concubines to keep the palace in order.

NLT 2 Samuel 17:1 Now Ahithophel urged Absalom, "Let me choose twelve thousand men to start out after David tonight.
2 I will catch up to him while he is weary and discouraged. He and his troops will panic, and everyone will run away. Then I will kill only the king,
3 and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride returns to her husband. After all, it is only this man's life that you seek. Then all the people will remain unharmed and peaceful."
4 This plan seemed good to Absalom and to all the other leaders of Israel.

II Sam 18:5 And the king gave this command to Joab, Abishai, and Ittai: "For my sake, deal gently with young Absalom." And all the troops heard the king give this order to his commanders.
6 So the battle began in the forest of Ephraim,
7 and the Israelite troops were beaten back by David's men. There was a great slaughter, and twenty thousand men laid down their lives that day.
8 The battle raged all across the countryside, and more men died because of the forest than were killed by the sword.
9 During the battle, Absalom came unexpectedly upon some of David's men. He tried to escape on his mule, but as he rode beneath the thick branches of a great oak, his head got caught. His mule kept going and left him dangling in the air.
10 One of David's men saw what had happened and told Joab, "I saw Absalom dangling in a tree."
11 "What?" Joab demanded. "You saw him there and didn't kill him? I would have rewarded you with ten pieces of silver and a hero's belt!"
12 "I wouldn't do it for a thousand pieces of silver, " the man replied. "We all heard the king say to you and Abishai and Ittai, 'For my sake, please don't harm young Absalom.'
13 And if I had betrayed the king by killing his son-- and the king would certainly find out who did it-- you yourself would be the first to abandon me."
14 "Enough of this nonsense," Joab said. Then he took three daggers and plunged them into Absalom's heart as he dangled from the oak still alive.
15 Ten of Joab's young armor bearers then surrounded Absalom and killed him.
16 Then Joab blew the trumpet, and his men returned from chasing the army of Israel.
17 They threw Absalom's body into a deep pit in the forest and piled a great heap of stones over it. And the army of Israel fled to their homes.
18 During his lifetime, Absalom had built a monument to himself in the King's Valley, for he had said, "I have no son to carry on my name." He named the monument after himself, and it is known as Absalom's Monument to this day.
19 Then Zadok's son Ahimaaz said, "Let me run to the king with the good news that the LORD has saved him from his enemy Absalom."
20 "No," Joab told him, "it wouldn't be good news to the king that his son is dead. You can be my messenger some other time, but not today."
21 Then Joab said to a man from Cush, "Go tell the king what you have seen." The man bowed and ran off.
22 But Ahimaaz continued to plead with Joab, "Whatever happens, please let me go, too.” Why should you go, my son?" Joab replied. "There will be no reward for you."
23 "Yes, but let me go anyway," he begged.Joab finally said, "All right, go ahead." Then Ahimaaz took a shortcut across the plain of the Jordan and got to Mahanaim ahead of the man from Cush.
24 While David was sitting at the city gate, the watchman climbed to the roof of the gateway by the wall. As he looked, he saw a lone man running toward them.
25 He shouted the news down to David, and the king replied, "If he is alone, he has news."As the messenger came closer,
26 the watchman saw another man running toward them. He shouted down, "Here comes another one!"The king replied, "He also will have news."
27 "The first man runs like Ahimaaz son of Zadok," the watchman said."He is a good man and comes with good news," the king replied.
28 Then Ahimaaz cried out to the king, "All is well!" He bowed low with his face to the ground and said, "Blessed be the LORD your God, who has handed over the rebels who dared to stand against you."
29 "What about young Absalom?" the king demanded. "Is he all right?"Ahimaaz replied, "When Joab told me to come, there was a lot of commotion. But I didn't know what was happening."
30 "Wait here," the king told him. So Ahimaaz stepped aside.
31 Then the man from Cush arrived and said, "I have good news for my lord the king. Today the LORD has rescued you from all those who rebelled against you."
32 "What about young Absalom?" the king demanded. "Is he all right?"And the Cushite replied, "May all of your enemies, both now and in the future, be as that young man is!"
33 The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to his room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I could have died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son."

Conclusion: From the fears of a failed life, come the tears of a parent.

NLT Psalm 3:1